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OVER THE EDGE
By LINDA SUE MARTIN on October 23, 2009
I AM SO DEPRESSED AND SO ALONE. I AM A SINGLE MOTHER I HAVE 3 CHILDREN A SON THAT IS 23 THAT I HAVE NOT TALKED TO IN YEARS. I HAVE A SON THAT IS 13 HE WILL BE 14 IN JANUARY AND A DAUGHTER THAT IS 8. MY SON HAS CAUSED ME SO MUCH HEART ACHE AND PAIN. HE IS SO OUT OF CONTROL. HE ABUSES ME AND HIS LITTLE SISTER. HE MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY, AND VERBALLY ABUSES US ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS. I PUT HIM IN A REHAB FACILITY, BUT THEY WERE ONLY SHORT TERM SO HE WAS BACK HOME IN 3-WEEKS. ALL THEY DID WAS PUT HIM ON PROZAC 10MG AND TRUST  ME HE IS STILL ABUSIVE. THIS CHILD HAS CAUSED ME TO GO THROUGH A DIVORCE, I HAD TO QUIT MY JOB. I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE FELT SO ALONE. I KNOW THAT I AM NOT TRULLY ALONE AND I KNOW THAT GOD WILL NEVER GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE, BUT TRUST ME I HAVE HAD 3 FAILED MARRIAGES 2 OF THE MARRIAGES MY HUSBANDS ABUSED ME. THE OTHER MARRIAGE MY HUSBAND WAS AN ALCOHOLIC. I AM A LICENSED PRACTICAL NURSE I DO NOT DRINK I DO NOT SMOKE AND I HAVE NEVER DONE DRUGS. I BELIEVE IN GOD I HAVE BEEN SAVED AND BAPTIZED 3 TIMES. I HAVE HAD A STILL BORN BABY WHEN I WAS 8-MONTHS PREGNANT. I WILL ADMIT MY FAITH IS WEAK I HAVE CONSIDERED SUICIDE MORE THAN ONCE, BUT I KNOW THAT IF I DID THAT I WOULD GO TO HELL. MY SISTER AND HER HUSBAND ARE TRYING TO TAKE MY SON AND DAUGHTER AWAY BECAUSE I AM SO DEPRESSED. ALL MY LIFE I HAVE LIVED FOR MY CHILDREN. I PUT MY LIFE ON HOLD AND MY HAPPINESS ON HOLD TO RAISE MY CHILDREN. I DO WITH OUT SO MY CHILDREN CAN HAVE THINGS. I AM A GOOD MOTHER, UNFORTUNATELY MY SISTER WHO IS TWO YEARS OLDER THAN ME MARRIED A WEALTHY MAN AND IS A STAY AT HOME MOM. ALTHOUGH I DO NOT UNDERSTAND SOMETIMES WHY GOD SEEMS TO HELP THE RICH GET RICHER AND THE POOR GET POORER. MY SISTER IS ALSO A NURSE, BUT HAS NOT WORKED FOR THE PAST 3-YEARS DUE TO THE FACT SHE MARRIED A WEALTHY MAN. ALTHOUGH WE ARE SISTERS WE ARE LIKE NIGHT AND DAY. SHE BELIEVES IN DOING WICCA SPELLS, I BELIEVE IN THE PRAYER OF GOD. ALTHOUGH LATELY IT SEEMS LIKE GOD HAS JUST FOGOTTEN ABOUT ME. I AM TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE AND HAVE FAITH, BUT I AM JUST ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND. ALL I EVER ASKED GOD FOR WAS TO BE HAPPY AND TO FIND A GOOD MAN THAT WILL LOVE ME AND MY CHILDREN. I AM NOT A MATERIALISTIC PERSON. YES I WISH I COULD WIN MONEY OR MARRY SOMEONE RICH SO THAT I COULD BUY MY KIDS A NICE HOUSE AND GET A NEW CAR. BUT REALLY ALL I WANT IS FOR GOD TO MAKE ME HAPPY AGAIN. I HAVE BEEN SO UNHAPPY AND UNLUCKY FOR SO MANY YEARS, ALL I WANT IS TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND BE HAPPY AGAIN. I SURVIVED A BLOOD CLOT IN THE LEFT RENAL ARTERY THAT COULD HAVE KILLED ME LAST SEPTEMBER, I SURVIVED A STILL BORN BABY AT 32-WEEKS PREGNANT AND 3-FAILED MARRIAGES. WHEN IS GOD GOING TO ANSWER MY PRAYERS TO FIND HAPPINESS. I AM WRITING TO MANIDOO FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS. I AM ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN AND VERY SUICIDAL AT THIS POINT. THIS FINAL DRAW WITH MY SISTER TRYING TO TAKE MY KIDS AWAY IS THE FINAL BREAKING POINT. I AM NOTHING WITH OUT MY CHILDREN. I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE FOR MY CHILDREN AND AROUND MY CHILDREN. IF I LOOSE MY CHILDREN I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO LIVE FOR. PLEASE ALL OF YOU THAT READ THIS I COULD REALLY USE YOUR PRAYERS, BECAUSE I AM SO LOST RIGHT NOW. PLEASE GOD HEAR MY PRAYERS AND ANSWER THEM, I NEED YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE, I TRULLY NEED YOUR HELP.
53 Comments       Add a Comment


Comment #1 by ounooi on December 31, 2009
Linda, please do not give up. Do not lose faith!! You are a wonderful mother and after reading Dr Thomas`s advise I know that you have nothing to lose but the old heartship and pain. Start afresh, Dr Thomas`s advise can only help you. I do not live in the States but have moved countries and wish you the very best for the new year.
May God Bless you and your family in abundance in this new year. Stay positive and never let the glass get half empty.
Comment #2 by HICHAM on December 24, 2009
you are good women
you are the best you like life
try to contact me
boutafi@hotmail.com
i hope to meet you
best regards
hicham
Comment #3 by Latara on December 24, 2009
Hello Linda. First I would like to say that my prayers are with you. Let me give you a bit of advice as I believe it will help you. I am a licensed psychiatrist and family counselor and what you need are a few things to save yourself from futher pain. First you need to save up some money if you do not already have it, and move away. You need to pack your things up, take your 13 and 8 year old and move to an entire new state. Do not take your oldest with you. Only take the things you will need to start a new life. Material things come and go, but life is only once. Here is what you do:

Go online to places like Craigslist and look for a job in an entire new state. Apply for the jobs. Next look for an apartment, not a home because you will not have the financial means to upkeep the home if something happens. After you apply for the job, and apply for an apartment 1 to 2 weeks later you will get a phone call from both. By the 3rd week you should be moving. Take all of the things you can fit into your car and just go. Do not tell anyone you are leaving, except for your job of course, but take your babies and go. It is time for a change in scenery. The problem is you are stuck in the same place that has caused you so much heartache and pain. Inside your home are evil forces because that is where everything keeps happening to you. If it is not your home it is the state you live. Don't worry about not having much money saved because if there is a will there is a way. Just try to take care of the things you can before you go, and I can assure you everything else will fall into place. There are people everyday that do not have nothing, and they move to another state. And the next thing you know they are living so happy. You need to get out and move, meet new people who don't know your background and history, and start new. Do not tell those people your life story as I am certain they will try to do to you what has already been done to you. When some people recognize the weak, they try to take advantage of them. So to protect yourself do not tell anyone what you have been through. I will pray for you, but if you follow my suggestions I can almost guarantee you that you will beat this. The devil is a lie, and you will prove that to yourself once you accept change. If you would like personal counseling and guidance feel free to email me at faithhonestyhope@gmail.com and I will guide you through this. I have helped hundreds of people overcome their obstacles and God has connected us for a reason. Dr. L. Thomas
Comment #4 by tammy on December 23, 2009
I am also a mother of three, and a grandmother who loves her childeren to the end.. But Im also a women that has been through all the abuse as well and had to learn to walk again i ask god? to forgive my husband and let me as well and he did. But i dont for get what has happen and it sticks in the back of my mind and its so hard I have a son that is 20 as of christmas day? And lord knows he has put me through alot as well he dropped out of school when he turned 16 and we did everything that you can do to help i did the homeschool thing with two teachers that came out to help him? But nothing worked now I have a son that sits all day on his back side playing games or just watching t.v.? And it is so sad to see that with him.. Ive tired to be a good mother and help my kids they are my rock? But as you know going through a bad marr? or two is bad as well and sometimes I feel like just crying my heart out but then i look at things and see that they are others out there just like me? But i can tell you that things can be better .. It takes time ive been with the same man for 21 yrs.. now but things have gotten bad for us he has had some medical things happen to him and it almost cost him his life? I was there for him though i needed to be there for him and take care and pray? And it worked he is doing alot better but for me and him things are not so great? But what i think that im trying to say to you is keep in your heart to say a prayer each day and i know that something good will come from all this.. And for you depression well im going through that as well i lost my job? and money is tight and ive almost lost eveything but ive kept praying and i know that god will listen to all of our prayers.. Im proff just the other day i went to the doc? and he told me that i was under way to much stress and i needed to get a handle on the stress or i would be good for any of my childeren so im doing the best i can ..but ive been really sick from the stress but i keep asking god when will this all end and i will have my life back? One day its going to happen.. So please think about what is happening to you there is a reason? just keep that in minde always..I will keep you in my prayers.And may you have a very merry christmas..
Comment #5 by jennifer on December 08, 2009
Been there, done that , got the T Shirt , dont stand for your sons treatment of you and your daughter any more , he makes his own choices , so now ,just call in the police and lay a charge , i know it is hard to do it to your own flesh and blood , but believe me it helps Remember you have a life to live as well. I will pray for you From a mother who did it
Comment #6 by Angela on November 20, 2009
Have you ever noticed that when you stubb your toe or burn yourself you snap at the person trying to help you, well maybe thats you.
You are hurting from your burden and still you do the right thing you pray to the Lord for help and not choose the darker paths.But you think everything is negative.Turn it around, your sister wants to help, you survived your terrible loss you survived three marriages.GOD IS WITH YOU!!
Your son is hurting and that is why he strikes out at you because you are the closest thing in the world to him. Ask him what he wants work together.
That medication always made things worse my daughter went from depressed to suicidal with it.
Take your sisters help until you are well and strong again, let her help you but let her know its until you get your strength back.
Ask your son to be the Man and help save HIS family.
Ask God to give him a sense of responsibility. You are GOOD and YOU are BEAUTIFUL.!! God loves YOU. Amen Angel a England
Comment #7 by deborah on November 17, 2009
oh dear saint hope all is well, so sorry to hear ur troubles, life is tuff we all have struggle please dont give up, keep positive, sometimes i feel like u but have to snap out of it fast. please 1 have a son which is a handful only 3 but i cant see my self living if someone takes him away, just keep praying for both of us
Comment #8 by Jani on November 11, 2009
Please do not give up. Your son seems to be exhibiting signs of mental illness. At his age, many boys will rebel and become the opposite of what they have been taught, and he also may be bi-polar. He is feeling all the stresses you feel, but with hormones raging, needs an outlet. Sports would be a good way to work off excess negativity, and perhaps a positive male role model. A Big Brother might be able to help. Do not even let your mind dwell on leaving this world, as your children love and need you. May you rise like a Phoenix from the ashes and make a better life for yourself and your family. No one can do it except you. Accept your higher calling and do what needs to be done.
Comment #9 by Amy on November 06, 2009
Linda, You are not alone. We are all going through struggles. Please don't commit suicide. God loves you way too much. I have gone through a lot in my life. I have struggled, but I know in the end if I just trust him he will lead me. Stay strong and God Bless.
Comment #10 by marceen on November 04, 2009
dear over the edge, I am praying for you and your children. Your son most difinately needs conseling as well as a good talking to. Don't let him come home until he gets it. If yu have to have him put in jail for a short time maybe then he will realize there are consequences for abusive behavior. Love and prayers. marceennichols@yahoo.com
Comment #11 by Johanna on October 28, 2009
I will pray for you and your family. You need to see a therapist if you have suicidal thoughts. You also need to be a little selfish and live for yourself too. If you are not happy, youre kids won't be either. If your son does not change his behavior, don't allow him to return to your home. Find a way to put him on a program. Don't allow him to abuse you or your family any longer. He does not have that right. You need to take a stand and you will feel better. Tough love with abusive kids is the only way to help him. Does he see a counselor? Find a tough therapist for him. A male would be good. Have enough respect for yourself to disallow him to abuse you. My prayers are with you.
Comment #12 by tiffany on October 27, 2009
hello linda.god has not forgotten about you. you will come out of this and will have an awesome testimony that will save someones life spiritually,emotionally,and physically. the devil got a glimpse of your future and decided to use what he could to stop you. so he uses those that are close to you. if it was anyone else other than your family,you could handle the situation or handle them.we weren't saved all of our lives let's be for real. we would be fighting and more. but because this torment is coming from the ones we love it makes life more difficult. jesus died a horrible death for you. he did this so that you wouldn't have to.so suicide is not an option. come to yourself linda. encourage yourself. you have been asking god for a man. for material things. there's nothing wrong with that. but,you only asked him for things.you want god to give you what you have asked him for. that's only his hand. god wants you linda to seek him.if you seek his face, he will give you his hand. and more.... mosleytiffany7@yahoo.com email me anytime. tiffany
Comment #13 by Mary on October 24, 2009
Dear Linda,
Now this is for you. There are so many people dying everyday that don't want to. They were not given a choice but you have one. You are going through so much distress and need help. Counseling is there for you to learn what the real world looks like. No one should hit you, curse you or abuse you, only if you let them. There are safe homes, and other protective agencies for women like you that are trapped in a situation you don't know how to get out. Taking your life is a cop out. It's your easy way but what about your children? You will be teaching them that when things go bad just end your life. Thank of Jobe in the Bible. He suffered so much, had everything taken away but faith kept him going. You need help and you know it. Go for it. Love yourself as thy neighbor, quote.
Learn to let the past be a lesson in life. People can change. Let today be the first day of the rest of your life. Envy not, just understand that you do make a difference. Money can't buy happiness but it does pay the bills. The problem comes when they want more than they need and too greedy to share. The Gait Keeper
Comment #14 by Mary on October 24, 2009
Sweet child,
Structure was not part of your sons raising, as well as going to church every week. No excuses, there are those that will take your children to Sunday School when you have to work. The Church does provide for those in need. Your son has reached puberty and thinks he is invincible. He needs to go to Boot Camp and see exactly what the consequences of his actions and drugs will do. Talk to your Law Enforcement and tell them you need help. There are those that will help. Don't assume things will work out. He is a role model for your other children and I know you don't want the process repeated. You learned in school why people use drugs. They not only want to feel good but it's their way of coping the best way they know how. Hey, it's so free, just like unprotected sex and the consequences are even greater. Find out exactly what your son really wants out of life. Just want to help.
The Gait Keeper
Comment #15 by Judie on October 23, 2009
Darling girl,
you are in my shoes that I walked about 20 yrs ago
please don't ever think of taking you life is a prescious thing from God to be used not abused

I have a son that was a handful put I percerverd a sought all the help I could get today he is a truly amazing young man that I cherish ( most dear words he told a few years THANKS MOM you are the only who beleived in me)

you amy write me anytime to at summer_48@live.ca

your son is only acting out what he has seen your abusive husbands did he needs guidance and you need a respite

please work with your son and God Bless you in always
you are in my prayers

Judie
Comment #16 by Lavern on October 23, 2009
Dear over the edge,

I feel your pain and feel deep compassion for you. As you can see, you are not alone, everyone is reaching out to you with lots of love and encouragement. I want to introduce you to The Soka Gakkai International - SGI (Society for the Creation of Value). It is a worldwide Buddhist assoiciation with a grassroots movement of global citizens working for individual happiness and world peace. The SGI encompasses over 12 milliion members in more than 190 countries and territories. I too have been through many struggles and challenges, however, through my faith and practice, I have been able to overcome them one by one. You don't have anything to lose by finding out more information and learning how you can face the challenges you are going through, and you have a whole lot to gain. You have the power to change your situation around. Hang in there, Lavern
Comment #17 by MOHSIN on October 23, 2009
Linda: I said a prayer for you so God, The All Mighty, will guide you to the right path and help you thru the rough times and make your life easy for you.
Comment #18 by Raji on October 23, 2009
i am really moved by your story, I pray to God to give you strength and courage to face the turmoils in this life. I have also gone through so much of the same that you are going thru. But please do not loose hope. Pray with your heart and soul to God and He will come thru for you. Never let anyone take your children away from you. Give them the most love and treat them with gentle kindness and let them know how much you love and cherish them and they will never leave your side. Never get mad or angry at them, show them lots of love and they will love you and care for you. May God Be with you.
Rajina
Comment #19 by kathryn on October 23, 2009
Hello and God Bless. Choices that is what life is about, we all have choices. Reach out to your church for help for your son before he gets into trouble with the law. You are choosing to let this consume you! Reach out to God to give you the strenght to not commit suiside, to me that is a cop out. You have two other children to take care of. Your sister is not being a bad person here, she is just trying to help the children who are the most important thing in your life NO MATTER WHAT. You say you believe in God well at times like this is when people get angry and loose hope. You chose your former husbands you allow your son to abuse you, you quit your job. Give your son to God he is old enough to know right from wrong. Tough love is the best maybe that is what God is giving you because you don't seem to make good choices. Trust me before you get all bent out of shape it took me a long time to admit this to myself as well, I had an abusive husband and I gave up everything for my children guess what, my son is in prison and my daughter got her kids taken away because of a drug problem. Because of the hard choices other loved ones have made they are now clean and doing well. Grow up and be a parent be strong you can do it, please reach out to the church and god he will carry you through this. MAKE BETTER CHOICES GO BACK TO WORK, LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES YOU JUST NEED A GOOD PUSH AND LOTS OF PRAYERS AND BY ALL THE COMMENTS IT IS OBVIOUS YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

GOD BLESS YOU AND I WIL PRAY FOR YOU NO ONE EVER NEEDS TO FEEL ALONE!!
Comment #20 by sanjay on October 23, 2009
hi linda and all like same situtions , plz keep in mind that bad days r not having long life then a good days , do work witout thinking a bad time every person help u in this with pray and with all u need , so dont think ur alon , we r with u
Comment #21 by Reena on October 23, 2009
We all shared your pain when we read your story. I have my own version except I have never had childern although I wanted them when I was younger and I have never been married. You want to talk about the feeling of lonlieness....my papa died when I was in my twenties and the story can go on. I pray for you my sister and ask that you don't lose faith in GOD. All the people that wrote before me also say you have to trust and act on the signs you get. Get up, shower, do your hair, paint your toes and your hands, eat some fruit and drink some water. I know these are basic things... but feeling good comes from the inside... and feeling pretty also helps. When your children see that change in you, you will begin to see a shift in your circumstances. I have to force myself to eat, excercise and pray when really I have similar feeling to yours and I want to end this lonely path of mine. Yes, I ask the same questions... the rich get richer and the poor get poorer...We were all born with GOD's blessings, he gave us the power to change our lives, we would do a diservice to ourselves and GOD by not picking ourselves back up... do not look at your past anymore, only take the sweet memories and let the rest go. I had to do that at an early age. Forgive your exhusbands, forgive your children when they mis-behave, forgive yourself..understand your sister is doing her version of the best she can and forgive her too. I have a couple of things I wrote on a post it and keep it in my home and glance at it every chance I get and here it is. Let go of the past. Stay in the moment. Never forget the bigger picture and figure out what is next...whether it be preparing dinner or going for a walk. It helps me keep the negative crap out of my head and focused on the important things like moving forward in a healthy manner. With love. Be grateful for what you have right this moment, don't dread your children being pulled away from you. You need to get healthy in your mind, body and spirit. Eat, excersice and pray... force yourself out of that box and shall be free.
Comment #22 by Dixie on October 23, 2009
Dear Friend,
I am so sorry that you are having this problem. I have two boy's one is 17 and the other is 8. The oldest one was very much like your son. I tryed all different wats to help him but all medical help failed! So the next time he went off on my youngest boy and I, I called the police! It may sound like a terrible thing to do BUT the outcome was amazing!!! I let him worry about wether or not I would file charges and the police man was great! he hand cuffed him and put him the cruiser then came back in to me to talk about what I wanted them to do. I told him that I didn't really want him to go to jail but I wantd him to know that he HAS TO CHANGE HIS BEHAVIOR! I was told that because it is parental abuse They could take him whether or not I signed a complaint!! He went out and brought him back into the house but left the cuffs on. He told him that the could take him to jail of give him one more chance to change his behavior. He asked what he thought he should do with him. In tears at this point, he asked for anothe chance. The officer than talked to me and asked me what I wanted hime to do. I tole to let him have his second chance. The officer warned hime that if he had to come back that he would not be so leanient and that he would take him straight to jail. that was 6 monthas ago. he still has his days when he angry, BUT he hasn't attemted to take it ouy on anyone!! He tell he he has to go for a waslk to clear his head an d has bee doing Great! Call the police and see if they will do this for you. It might do wonders for you AND him!
I pray that you too will hhave the courage to do the same thing. My prayers will include you all!\\\

Your friend, Dixie









friend,
Comment #23 by Susan on October 23, 2009
Your story sounds alot like my own. The only difference is that my sister is 2 years younger than me. She is with a guy who makes great money, they live i a huge house, she drives a brand new car and replaces it every 2 yrs for ANOTHER brand new car. I too had a still born baby @ 37 wks. She was my first. I had 2 children after her. My son too caused me a great deal of grief. He has since moved in with his dad. I have done everything for my kids, I have gone without so they could have the things they need and want. I know where you are cause I am there too. Don't despair. Try to look at the things you DO have rather then the things you wish you had. I know it's hard but you have to change your way of thinking. Find that ONE person you can trust and only tell them these things. Do not tell your sister anything. She will just use it against you. As she is doing now with the threat of taking your children from you. Plz know that you ARE NOT alone. Don't let life defeat you. Stay strong!
Comment #24 by Pamela on October 23, 2009
I cried when i read your story, i too have been close to suicide on many occassions because of my soon to be x husband.After 25 years of marriage, 2 children and 2 grand children, he left me for a woman younger than me who he thought had money. Before this he cheated on me by joining a "swingers site" and was into 3 somes group sex etc etc, i forgave him, because i loved him so much, and because of our history together, and also cos he vowed he would never do it again..... i believed him only to discover that he carried on can you imagine how worthless it all made me feel? Then he decided that his grown up kids, and myself wernt good enough anymore, as he climbed the career ladder. So he joined dating sites behind my back and met the woman he has lived with for the past 18 months. To top it all he kept me "dangling" knowing that if things didnt work out he could come home! I had no option but to file for divorce, and like you i am a great believer in God, his new partner however, is a Wiccan! BUT...... i am now winning his new life isnt that great, i know he has regrets, it is his loss, and our children no longer speak to him because he puts her and her children before everything and everyone.Well you will end up the winner, please have faith, i have, and it has carried me through, and God is helping me, oh dont get me wrong, i am struggling financially and emotionally, but i KNOW i will "have the last laugh" Please keep your chin up and keep your dignity you WILL win out in the end! Love and prayers go out to you.
Pam xxxxxxxxxxxx Ps my e mail is foxylady1951@hotmail.co.uk if you want to chat, talking does help.
Comment #25 by Mirella on October 23, 2009
Dear Linda,
You are not alone, there are many people in similar situations, including myself. Just keep holding on to your faith, that is the one thing no man, woman or child can take away from you. God will put his hand on your shoulder and ease your pain.
Comment #26 by Kathleen Cram on October 23, 2009
DEAR OVER THE EDGE,

THERE IS A PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE AND THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN PUT IN IT. NO ONE EVER REALLY UNDERSTANDS THE PLAN GOD HAS MADE FOR US. WE JUST HAVE TO ASK FOR THE STRENGTH TO FOLLOW THAT PLAN WITHOUT QUESTION. IT IS NOT EASY. BUT HE ALSO HAS MANY EARTH ANGELS WHO WILL HELP YOU WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

MY SISTER LEFT HER TWO CHILDREN WITH ME ONE NIGHT TO GO GET CHRISTMAS SHOPPING DONE FOR HER TWO SMALL CHILDREN AGES 5 AND 7. SHE KISSED THEM GOOD BYE AND WALKED OUT MY DOOR. SHE WOULD NEVER WALK THROUGH MY DOOR AGAIN. SHE WAS 38 AND KILLED BY A HIT & RUN DRUNK DRIVER AROUND THE CORNER FROM MY HOME.

I SPENT WEEKS ASKING MYSELF "WHAT IF?" I FINALLY HAD TO REALIZE THAT THIS WAS HER PLAN AND NOTHING ELSE WOULD CHANGE THAT. BUT THEN THEY CAME. GOD'S EARTH ANGELS. THEY GAVE COMFORT, SUPPORT AND LOVE. EACH WITH THEIR UNIQUE GIFT AND FULFILLING THE PURPOSE THAT GOD HAD PLANNED FOR THEM.

I DON'T KNOW THEIR STORIES OR WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEM IN LIFE BUT I DO KNOW THAT THEY WERE THERE FOR ME AND MAY FAMILY. WE WERE SO GRATEFUL FOR THEM!

SO, WHAT I TRYING TO SAY IS I KNOW IT'S HARD BUT YOU HAVE A PURPOSE THAT NO ONE ELSE CAN DO. JUST BELIEVE AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. GOD WILL SEND YOU HELP OR YOU MAY BE CALLED TO BE AN EARTH ANGEL.

JUST BELIEVE!

KC
Comment #27 by NANCY on October 23, 2009
Footprints

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

...Mary Stevenson

http://www.footprints-inthe-sand.com/


Dear linda

I am a single mom and your story touched me it was like my life in so many ways my daughter was on drugs and I had no one but God and he is all we need never get tired of doing the right thing keep praying it sounds like god is getting ready to make chaneges in your life soon don't give up i love this poem it helped me and I hope it will help you . If you need some one to talk to my email is npatrick123@yahoo.com and dont give up . nancy I will pray for you and your children God bless
Comment #28 by Lisa on October 23, 2009
I pray for you to receive love and support from the angels and higher realms-it is time to rescue yourself instead of everyone else. Send positive thoughts as they will start to manifest good in your life- negative thoughts will come back to you. What you put out there you get back- there is a lot of power in the energy of thought-Dont be afraid to ask for help, doctors, family, friends. Dont be a victim to your thoughts-we are all one consciousness and you will get stronger-please give yourself time- I am sending you an angel to help you-god bless you. You are loved
Comment #29 by Ariana on October 23, 2009
Oh sweetheart, you have not been true to yourself !! its no wonder you feel alone.
How can you love another if you can't love yourself?

It's not selfish to want more or better for yourself, so you can give to the ones you love!!

Your sister is not taking your children from you, she is giving back you. It doesn't make you weak to accept help. Your sister loves you; but you need to learn to love you too.

While your life's intention is great, your judgment of others has caused you more grief.

I have to apologize when I say this much regarding your struggling baby boy, while he is at a very difficult age, in his own early years he did not have you to nurture him; you were there, but not in the essence he needed you to be. How could you? you were broken. It's not surprising you feel he has caused you more despair. He is acting out what he has learned too, how to deal. Let your sister have your children, she loves you all. At least till your strong enough to not second guess who you really are again.

The hardest and most self destructive thing we do to ourselves is 'doubt ourselves'. When we first do this, it is the most painful existence we create for ourselves. It is so easy to do, and so hard to climb back out of that rutt we single handedly created.

Life is already full of challenges, but this will be your biggest. Its time to love yourself, be gentle with your soul, take your mind body and spirit to a place where you felt safe, beautiful & strong. Live there for a moment till you remember how the sun felt on your face. Remember, how your blood rushed through your body; how your heart skipped with happiness, how you felt unbeatable, that is you.
Find that courage to be your brave and wonderful self.
And don't be ashamed when you realize how overwhelming your own power is.

Little steps, little steps, keep busy in what you need to do in your every day- you're not being selfish and with time and love you will have serenity and your security back.

You need space to heal. Believe in you. God does. Dare to dream again, and then be brave to make your dreams your reality.

You are fragile now; but you will be fine
Comment #30 by Joanne Brendan on October 23, 2009
we are on the same boat. I'll pray for your enlightenment.
Comment #31 by Shauneen on October 23, 2009
Your son and your family needs support I know this be cause I was in a similar situation contact your doctor and ask for family counciling in the meantime I would implore you to show your son LOVE as I know you do already , keep pouring out your love to him what you put out you get back, I would ask you to take time out for yourself, put a picture of your 2sons and you and your daughter and light a candle and visualise a healing light all around them see clearly in your minds eye you all smiling. my email is s.shopper@blueyonder.co.uk I am happy to send a yoga programme which will really help you and your family get some peace PLEASE remember sometimes the only way out is THROUGH congratulate and be so PROUD of yourself and your obvious inner strength. love shauneen x
Comment #32 by Peter on October 23, 2009
Dearest Linda,
God is with you and always will. In order for positive changes to occur in your life, be patient and pray for a sign of which you will gladly get to lead you out of your situation. Ask nothing from God, praise, love and ask for forgiveness and make sure that God has sent you He's/Her's angels. Ask for Gabriel, God will send him to show you the way.

God Bless and don't ever lose hope!

Peter
Comment #33 by Debra on October 23, 2009
Dear Linda,
Dont loose hope please! there are plenty people out there who will help reach out and find them if not for yourself but for your kids! I hope you will eventually find happiness as you deserve it!
Take care Linda. Deb.
Comment #34 by mary on October 23, 2009
DEAR OVER THE EDGE
WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN TO US WE FEEL THAT ALL IS LOST AND THERE IS NO ONE TO TURN TO, BUT THERE ALWAYS IS JUST SEE FOR YOURSELF, YOU POSTED THIS AND THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE THAT HAVE RESPONDED TO YOU SHOWS THAT WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU.
GOD WORKS IN WONDERFUL WAYS.
I HAVE A STRONG FEELING THAT THINGS WILL GET BETTER SOON.GOD BLESS
Comment #35 by lina on October 23, 2009
Linda dear, God is in full control, your problems will SOON be wiped out as if by magic. You are not alone in this, you will even marvel at other women's experiences. Let's keep praying. Keep a broad smile always, it drives away sorrows.Cheers Linda!
LINA SAPPOR - GHANA
Comment #36 by Alana on October 23, 2009
Dear Sue
This may seem to be a bit harsh!! Stop pitying your self and get up and stand tall. Selfpity and negative feelings from within are your downfall. Your negative attitude towards life and every thing that has happened to you is attracting even more negative energy. Life's mistakes and all the things that have happend to you must be looked at as a learning school. It is time to look at your self as a unique person and think of all the good that is within yourself. You may have made terrible mistakes in your life, but now is the time to stand up and realise that no amount of money or a wealthy man is going to be your tikcket to happiness. You have to find it within yourself to fight for what you want with commitment and self respect. That way you will find that happiness will gradually come your way. And God will be your pillar in this path that you have to follow. You son's abusive behavior is due to the fact, that all the role models "your husbands" in his life have been abusive, he sould go for counciling. If however you gather enough courage to commit suicide your sister wins! I dought that you would like to see that happen..... I will pray for you and ask GOD to give you strength to stand up and find your inner peace, self respect, commitment and strenght to begin an new life for yourself and with out the hopes of riches - because riches is no garantee to happiness. Their is only a hand full of people that are sincere and honest about their intentions towards anybody in life, most people only look out for themselves and the few that are geniunly sincere are the ones that need be treated with respect and honesty - do not feed them lies or bull shit stories, the lies will only catch up to you and bite you in the back. All people have problems and had their full share of hardship and mistakes....You are not alone! "it is not what has happend to you in life that is important, what is important is your attitude towords life and the way you handle it, that is important."
Comment #37 by dannie on October 23, 2009
Linda I have no answers but do understand. In many way I have lived your sorrows I wish I had it in my power to forfill your wishes what I do know that god tests us in life we are no wise enough to understand thede test but many times we must look deep inside ourselfs and insure we are not adding to our misery god will give us the answers is we listen and believe sometimes the answers arnt what we expect but we have to believe like a parent teaching a child the answers don't alwsys seem right but always the answers are true if we listen.
Comment #38 by dannie on October 23, 2009
Linda I have no answers but do understand. In many way I have lived your sorrows I wish I had it in my power to forfill your wishes what I do know that god tests us in life we are no wise enough to understand thede test but many times we must look deep inside ourselfs and insure we are not adding to our misery god will give us the answers is we listen and believe sometimes the answers arnt what we expect but we have to believe like a parent teaching a child the answers don't alwsys seem right but always the answers are true if we listen.
Comment #39 by aseem on October 23, 2009
Do not loose hope dear, remember the darkest hour is just before dawn. God will listen to you prayers. I shall also pray for you. If ever writing and being in contact helps you, my Email address is: aseemranaa@yahoo.co.in.

My love and best wishes for you.
Comment #40 by aseem on October 23, 2009
Please do not loose hope, remember the darkest hour is just before dawn. God will surely be with you. I shall pray for you.If reaching out and being in touch on the net can help a little my E Mail is : aseemranaa@yahoo.co.in
Comment #41 by aseem on October 23, 2009
Please do not loose hope, remember the darkest hour is just before dawn. God will surely be with you. I shall pray for you.If reaching out and being in touch on the net can help a little my E Mail is : aseemranaa@yahoo.co.in
Comment #42 by aseem on October 23, 2009
Please do not loose hope, remember the darkest hour is just before dawn. God will surely be with you. I shall pray for you.If reaching out and being in touch on the net can help a little my E Mail is : aseemranaa@yahoo.co.in
Comment #43 by lisa on October 23, 2009
sometimes you have to use the tough love method, your 24 year old needs to grow up and realize that life does not owe him anything, and nether do you, If you dont take control of this situation soon you may not be around for any of your kids, If the abuse is excessive enough you need to tell him to go. he is old enough to take control of his own life at 24 years of age my prayers are with you, and may the angels protect u
Comment #44 by Lingeswary on October 23, 2009
I do understand your feelings and trouble. Please have all your faith in God and never have the slightest doubt about his love for you. Think of people in a worser position than you. I know many in worse positions than you. Your sister cannot take the kids away from you unless you permit that. Do all what you can to take care of your children and derive sincere pleasure from it. They have you and you alone to look up to as mother. Other things will automatically happen in your life when you least expect it. Trust God and do your duty. My sincere prayers are with you. lyn_nadarajan@hotmail.com. Please write to me and count me as your sincere friend.
Lots of love and prayers.
Comment #45 by john on October 23, 2009
if i may, there is the story of the man who was walking along the beach and everytime he would expierence hardship in his life gods foot prints would disappear leaving just his , he asked the lord why, oh why when i am at my most awful time in my life do you abandon me, and the lord said my dear ,when you only see one set of footprints in the sand next to yours during the hardest times in your life, i have been carrying you, so my dear you are never alone, but also remember that i help those who have the strength to believe in me whether you think i am there or not, i am always, and always will be, keep the faith
Comment #46 by pat on October 23, 2009
Your faith will keep you strong, lean on the lord, as you say our Lord Jesus does not give us more than we can bare. Just trust and obey there is no other way, believe in Lord Jesus, just trust and obey. Warm wishes and hugs, Pats, Australia.
Comment #47 by ashok on October 23, 2009
Please be patient and DO NOT LOSE FAITH in GOD!! He will look after you and remember HE always looks over you!Only YOU can save or make yourself happy........ I WILL PRAY FOR YOU..... AND request GOD TO BE MERCIFUL AND GRANT YOU YOUR WISHES!...... ash
Comment #48 by Anthony on October 23, 2009
I pity you please come to KENYA FOR HOLIDAY and you will be fine. I would like to meet you, because you are a nice person and I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL LOVED AND WORTHWHILE . My name is Anthony Gich and my email is gichohi_2000@yahoo.com tel 254 727665885. Get in touch
Comment #49 by Tammy on October 23, 2009
I would just like to tell you that I am praying for you and your family. It's good to know that you have Faith in God to help you, and I believe he will. You still need to pray, (God hear her prayers) If possible stay prositive. Just keep beleiving that God is holding on to you and will not fail you. I pray with all my heart that God will take your burdens away. Please look at this situation as a learning experience God is tryying to tell you something. God be with you,
Tammy
Comment #50 by ashok on October 23, 2009
It seems while doing your Nurse's job you have willingly or unwillingly absorbed your patients sorrow and suffering ;but indeed you have caused them to recover and become hale and hearty again.
This life,s lessons for you seem to test you to the extreme, and till now you have come out with flying colors,although only just.
GOD always has a plan for us even though a lot of times we cannot understand .This causes us immense and unbearable misery.
I wish and pray that GOD helps you see the cause of all this misery to enable you to attain DIVINE status which truly and rightfully is yours.
Loves and regards for a heroic warrior
Ashok
Comment #51 by Annita on October 23, 2009
God will never forsake you, love unconditionally, open your heart to God, you have to talk to God, put all your worries and fears in His hands and remember if you are truly a child of God you will never be alone.
Comment #52 by connie on October 23, 2009
dear over the edge.God has a plan for you. please dont give up. please try and take everything negative in your life and turn into a positive please you have to change your mind set.God gave you this child for a reason. look deep into your self for the answers. God will give them to you.please sit in silence and listen.he will guide you through your iner voice. im sure your sister is only tring to help but at this time maybe you can find someone thats more positive to talk to at this time.sometimes you just have to back away a little and just listen to your self .god bless you are in my prayers. ps the reason i say this .i have a son that has done the same to me but my love for him is greater than anything on this earth.
Comment #53 by Natalia on October 23, 2009
your story touched my heart.If you would like friendly support dont hesitate to contact me on ntothova@yahoo.ca I am gona pray for you my dear. take care please natalia


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